SAINTS: VIOLENT ROOTS

by American Cutthroat

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04:21
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04:16

about

This is an alternate version of "SAINTS" and it includes many highlights of the original but also has many great new additions. All the new songs came from the "Hell Grows Here" Mixtape. Some of the themes on this version of SAINTS includes divorce, violence, youth and sill also deals with addiction.

- Comes with album/lyric book (PDF)

credits

released June 3, 2016

Music / Programing / Recording /
Lyrics / Vocals : Christopher Lauretti
Drum Tracks (2-10,13) By: Joey Ford
Photography: Sarah Miller

tags

license

all rights reserved
Track Name: Suppression
Verse:
I miss when you were proud of me
Not the me that I'm ashamed to be
But the kid you used to see
I'm always sleeping when I'm awake
And I can't stop thinking I'm about to break

I keep choking on my words
If I hesitate, I let God decide my fate
I won't know what it takes
I will never know how it feels

Chorus:
I know I shouldn't hurt them
I always want to hurt myself
Suppress it down
I can't stop wishing I was happy
Suppress it down

Verse:
This rhyme scheme is a pattern of my thoughts
Deprived myself of sun so I hope you don't get lost
the shadow that I cast has come at such a cost
Maybe a few mistakes, lines I shouldn't have crossed
We always decide too early
What our life is and how it will pan out
Life is a circle
We start small

(Chorus)

Maybe it's better to be empty
Please help me

Verse:
Life is a circle
We start small
We die small
We drink to the happy times
We drink to forget
Always in search of signs
Are we happy
Are we sad
I think we're thinking too much
It's a circle
No, it's a cycle
a cycle, a circle
We start and hit repeat in the end
We're always friends
We're never friends

(Chorus)


Lyrics By: Christopher Lauretti
Track Name: Savage St. (Funeral Greenery)
Verse:
He couldn't leave her,
So he beat her
Until she bled out in his backseat
Crying her lies out
Just for him
And I refuse to see the truth these days
I can’t stand where your head lies
I'm done with the games you play
I refuse to fuck myself that way

Chorus:
This won't end in a fight
This will end in a death
The body of Christ
Will hang over your head

Six people carry your body out
To the hearse from the church
And I have no doubt
You deserve so much worse
X2
You’ll get what you deserve

Verse:
She had the whole world
In front of her
Her parents never thought
She would fall victim to murder
All because of one savage
Who beat her, ravaged her
In the end
Just left her for dead

Savages,
They were nothing but savages
Savages,
They were nothing but savages
Savages, savages, savages
X2

Chorus:
This won't end in a fight
This will end in a death
The body of Christ
Will hang over your head

Six people carry your body out
To the hearse from the church
And I have no doubt
You deserve so much worse
You’ll get what you deserve

Bridge:
They were nothing but savages
No one should see the damages
And at your funeral
They'll see who you really are
And at your funeral
I will open every single scar

You are a savage
Wife beater, child leaver
The whole package
Your funeral greenery
Will make it so everyone can see
Everyone will see
X2

Savages,
They were nothing but savages
Savages,
They were nothing but savages
Savages, savages, savages
X2

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Youth Rituals
Chorus:
Oh, suddenly I'm free
Is this what it's like to breathe
I shed the weight
My angers gone
It's like part of me
The part that you can't see
Sheds like skin
Away from my body
Is this what it's like
Is this what's like to breathe

Verse:
But now my friends are gone
My family has all moved on
I'm clean or at least it seems
The only place I'm not alone
Is in my dreams
What's free if your still empty
Tell me what's left for me
I can bleed, I can bleed
But my blood was never clean

Verse:
Am I just a stain
Left on my fathers name
Cause inside I am vacant
If I just knew what it meant
I would disappear
But I'm unclear
On what it means to live
I'm not afraid
I'm just naive
I'm numb
From the years I've lost
I can't love
I can't feel

Bridge:
The weight of anger
Even free, I can never leave
Breathe, just breathe
Just breathe with me

Lyrics By: Christopher Lauretti
Track Name: Meriden: Story of a Goodman
Intro:
I was just a child
Living in the world of the putrid
My wealth was growing rapid
Then I was set up
To look like a snitch
To look like a bitch
But still I was underestimated

Chorus:
It's clear you want to kill me
But don't ever underestimate me
If you don't put this to an end
You will have no kingdom left to defend
I will take everything you ever loved
I will take everything you worked for
I will burn it to the ground
I will burn it right in front of you
And there is nothing you can do
Nothing you can do
I will burn it right in front of you
And there is nothing you can do

Verse:
I saw you following
I saw you planning
You lied right to me
You sent your army
I will hunt you down
Like fucking hound
And like a rabid dog
I will put you down
I will put you down
I will put you down
X3

Bridge:
You don't know anything about loyalty
You don't know anything about respect
You don't know anything about me
You don't know anything about me
X2
I will find you

Chorus:
It's clear you want to kill me
But don't ever underestimate me
If you don't put this to an end
You will have no kingdom left to defend
I will take everything you ever loved
I will take everything you worked for
I will burn it to the ground
I will burn it right in front of you
And there is nothing you can do
Nothing you can do
I will burn it right in front of you
And there is nothing you can do

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Erase Me
Intro:
Sometimes I think I might move away
Somewhere so very far away
I'll forget your names
Like you seem to avoid mine
Give it time
I think I might actually loose my mind
It's the only place I have left to hide
So are we friends?
Cause you don't seem to care
that I'm dead
Will you miss me in the end?

Chorus:
I want to erase away myself
Start over new again
No letters home to send
No comfort to ignore
from any friend
I will not exist
With my dying words
This is what I wished

It just hurts my heart
To look in your eyes tonight
It just hurts my heart
To watch your love dissipate
And it just hurts my heart
To see your hate

Verse:
I shed away the skin that I am in
Decay flesh and bone
Never born, never grown
No lips to be sown
On my knees
Begging please

I think you're better off without me
I think I'm better cold and empty
I know you won't miss me
Don't act like you care
You were never there

Chorus:
I want to erase away myself
Start over new again
No letters home to send
No comfort to ignore
from any friend
I will not exist
With my dying words
This is what I wished

It just hurts my heart
To look in your eyes tonight
It just hurts my heart
To watch your love dissipate
And it just hurts my heart
To see your hate

I don't have any affect on your life
So you don't need to think twice
Take my fucking life, grab the knife
Cause you know I'd bleed for you
Sometimes I wish you would too
Or maybe just act the way you used too

My mother used to hold me
My father once told me
But now they just cry with me
When your young you're blind x2
When your old there's nowhere to hide
And every time I lied
Just know at least I tried
Because what is a lion without a pride x3


Lyrics By: Christopher Laurett
Track Name: Hart Acre
Verse:
This is the place I was raised
This is the place I was raised
My heart has never changed
I miss the atmosphere
Everything was surreal
Heart acre is where I found myself
Now I’m struggling just to find myself

Chorus:
I look at my surroundings
The differences are grounding
I love where I keep my bed
But this isn't the place
That is in my head
Just because I'm not alone
Doesn't mean I don't miss home
X2

Verse:
You can rebuild everything
But it doesn't change
That it is not the same
I would never say
That you’re to blame
I just miss when my picture perfect life
Still fit in a frame
This is not a game
I want to know if you feel the same
Do you feel the same x3

Bridge:
Tare these pictures off the walls
Destroy every last memory
Bury the secrets in the walls
So deep the eyes can't see
I'm not alone
But I still miss home
I still miss home
I still miss home
X2

Chorus:
I look at my surroundings
The differences are grounding
I love where I keep my bed
But this isn't the place
That is in my head
Just because I'm not alone
Doesn't mean I don't miss home

Verse:
This is the place I was raised
This is the place I was raised
My heart has never changed
I miss the atmosphere
Everything was surreal
Heart acre is where I found myself
Now I’m struggling just to find myself

Chorus:
I look at my surroundings
The differences are grounding
I love where I keep my bed
But this isn't the place
That is in my head
Just because I'm not alone
Doesn't mean I don't miss home

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Make You Proud
Intro/Verse:
With all of these tattoos,
And all of these heartaches
These bloodshot eyes,
Will never give in
But maybe they don’t have a choice
Or maybe everyone around me
Just chooses to ignore my voice
(If I scream) will anyone hear me?
(If I die) will anyone remember my name?
Because it seems these days
Everyone only seems to care about themselves
(If I scream) will anyone hear me?
(If I die) will anyone remember my name?

Chorus:
Father, Father, Where have you been?
I’ve waged a war that I can’t win
If I never needed you before, I need you now
I can only do my best, to make you proud
To make you proud
Do I make you proud?

Verse:
I will never forgive myself, for blaming you
When everything in my life, went wrong
But you made me one promise that you never kept
You don’t even remember (well how could you?)
You were five shots in, with that much
Running through your system
I’m surprised you remembered my name
I’m surprised you remembered my name

Chorus:
Father, Father, Where have you been?
I’ve waged a war that I can’t win
If I never needed you before, I need you now
I can only do my best, to make you proud
To make you proud
Did I make you proud?

Bridge:
This is my own personal attack on my past.
This is an all-out assault on my life.
This is my own personal attack on my past.
This is an all-out assault on my life.
This is me getting rid of the part of me
The part of me that thinks you’re coming back

You’re not the same,
And you’ll never change
You’re not the same,
And you’ll never change
You’re not the same,
And you’ll never change
You’ll never change
You will never change
X2

Chorus:
Father, Father, Where have you been?
I’ve waged a war that I can’t win
If I never needed you before, I need you now
I can only do my best, to make you proud

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Confessional
Chorus:
Will you please approach me
This is everything but easy
But I need you to see
The evil I turned out to be
I wish I could say this is just occasional
But this is only the beginning of my confessional

You want to know what's in my head
But if you knew what was in my head
I promise, you would wish I was dead
I can't stand the look of disappointment
My mind will fixate on that moment
Tell me you still love me
Cause if not my life is empty

You want to know what's in my head
But if you knew what was in my head
I promise, you would wish I was dead
I can't stand the look of disappointment
My mind will fixate on that moment

Verse:
I'm begging you
Please don't cry
I can't stand another second
Watching the tears
Fall from your eyes
I have so many more lies
I need you to hear
And I'm so sorry
Because I am everything you feared
I am everything you feared

X2

Chorus:
Will you please approach me
This is everything but easy
But I need you to see
The evil I turned out to be
I wish I could say this is just occasional
But this is only the beginning of my confessional

You want to know what's in my head
But if you knew what was in my head
I promise, you would wish I was dead
I can't stand the look of disappointment
My mind will fixate on that moment
Tell me you still love me
Cause if not my life is empty

Bridge:
(Get Up)
I am sorry to my sister
She doesn't know how much I missed her
I am sorry to my brother
Because I wish I could have helped him further
I am sorry to my father
Because I feel I never made him proud
I am sorry to my mother
When she needed me I was no where to be found

Chorus:
You want to know what's in my head
But if you knew what was in my head
I promise, you would wish I was dead
I can't stand the look of disappointment
My mind will fixate on that moment

Tell me you still love me
Cause if not my life is empty
X2


Lyrics By: Christopher Lauretti
Track Name: Buried In Bristol
Verse:
No matter where I am from
No matter what I’ve done
It doesn't change who I am
It doesn't change what makes me, me
And if the devil was born in CT
Then that's where you should bury me
Bury me

Chorus:
There will always be a part of me
The part that you don't always see
And it tells me, where you should bury
Where you should bury my body

Bury me in Bristol
Well dressed with a pistol
Face up to the sky
And tattooed for every lie
Bury me with some Whisky
Cause if nothing else
I'm going out tipsy
X2

Verse:
What is true freedom?
If not an escape from this hell
I am chasing clarity
So have the church ring the bell
And if I don't find answers
Then my funeral won’t need any pastors
Cause if the devil was born in CT
Then that's where you should bury me

Chorus:
There will always be a part of me
The part that you don't always see
And it tells me, where you should bury
Where you should bury, my body

Bury me in Bristol
Well dressed with a pistol
Face up to the sky
And tattooed for every lie
Bury me with some Whisky
Cause if nothing else
I'm going out tipsy

Bridge:
I want to be buried
Where this all began
I want to be buried
In the city where I was sentenced to life
I want to be buried
Where my parents were still married
I want to be buried
Where I still had my sanity
I want to be buried
Where my family was most happy
Bury me in Bristol

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Breaking The Curse
Verse:
You can see the change in my eyes
Hit the switch to illuminate the lies
This time, this time I will not drown
I will bury the king and take my crown

I am, the only one I can blame
I am, the only one throwing dirt on my name
Now, I will swallow my pride
My family curse is only along for the ride
I will right the wrongs caused by me
I will become the man I claim to be x2

Chorus:
I have seen my mistakes
Now it’s time for me to change face
I can feel my vices
Grabbing, dragging me down to the darkest place

My soul is riddled by vices
(But I refuse to sink)
Again and again I dig my own grave
(But I refuse to sink)

x2

But I refuse to sink x4

Verse:
You can see the changes in my eyes
Hit the switch to illuminate the lies
This time, this time I will not drown
I will bury the king and take my crown

Chorus:
I have seen my mistakes
Now it’s time for me to change face
I can feel my vices
Grabbing, dragging me down to the darkest place

My soul is riddled by vices
(But I refuse to sink)
Again and again I dig my own grave
(But I refuse to sink)

I have seen my mistakes
Now it’s time for me to change face
I can feel my vices

Bridge:
(Set me free)
Open your eyes and you will see
(That this is me)
And I have cut free the anchor that will
(Set me free)
And for the first time I am alive
Finally I decide how I live and when I die
(Set me free)
I decide how I live and when I die
(But I refuse to sink)
Set me free x5
(But i refuse to sink)

Chorus:
(But i refuse to sink)

I have seen my mistakes
Now it’s time for me to change face
I can feel my vices
Grabbing, dragging me down to the darkest place

My soul is riddled by vices
(But I refuse to sink)
Again and again I dig my own grave
(But I refuse to sink)

I have seen my mistakes
Now it’s time for me to change face
I can feel my vices

Verse:
(Set me free)
Open your eyes and you will see
(That this is me)
And I have cut free the anchor that will
(Set me free)
And for the first time I am alive
Finally I decide how I live and when I die
(Set me free)
I decide how I live and when I die
(But I refuse to sink)
Set me free x4


Lyrics By: Christopher Lauretti
Track Name: Daises (New Hope)
Intro:
This is my one and only chance at something real
Something that I never thought I'd feel
There's just something in her eyes
It tells me that she never lies
Or will ever stray too far from me
Is this how it was always supposed to be
I am a part of you,
And you are all of me

Chorus:
You and me
You and me will push up daisies
Beautifully
You and me will sleep so freely
Carefully
Please find your way back to me
You and me
You and me will push up daisies
(She watched me crumble)
(She watched me burn)

You and me
You and me will push up daisies
Beautifully
You and me will sleep so freely
Carefully
Please find your way back to me
You and me
You and me will push up daisies
(It was this that made me learn)
(True love is something that you earn)

You and me
You and me will push up daisies
x4

Verse:
I am reborn in a new light
Every time it pulls me down
I still continue to fight

She watched me crumble
She watched me burn
It was this that made me learn
True love is something that you earn
x2

This is my one and only chance at something real
Something that I never thought I'd feel
There's just something in her eyes
It tells me that she never lies
Or will ever stray too far from me
Is this how it was always supposed to be
I am a part of you,
And you are all of me

Chorus:
You and me
You and me will push up daisies
Beautifully
You and me will sleep so freely
Carefully
Please find your way back to me
You and me
You and me will push up daisies
(She watched me crumble)
(She watched me burn)

You and me
You and me will push up daisies
Beautifully
You and me will sleep so freely
Carefully
Please find your way back to me
You and me
You and me will push up daisies
(It was this that made me learn)
(True love is something that you earn)

You and me
You and me will push up daisies
x4

Verse:
And at the thought of losing this
I fall back to my un-conscience coping
In this bottle I lay here soaking

And at the thought of losing you
I just stop any and all hoping
My vices begin the pulling
And my demons begin provoking

My legs turn weak
When she looks inside me
I don't want her to see
The monster manifesting inside of me
The reflection of the person I used to be

I have no fear
But if you disappear
and I am alone again
I will begin to question myself
and where I've been

"...and just as I was losing my grip on reality
You decide to stay and be the only thing that grounds me"

Chorus:
You and me
You and me will push up daisies
Beautifully
You and me will sleep so freely
Carefully
Please find your way back to me
You and me
You and me will push up daisies
(She watched me crumble)
(She watched me burn)

You and me
You and me will push up daisies
x4
(It was this that made me learn)
(True love is something that you earn)


Lyrics By: Christopher Lauretti
Track Name: Ghost Passenger Therapy
There is not one day
There is not one hour
There is not one second
That I am alone
I can feel the presence
Of this dark biding essence
I will never escape my fate
Until my expectation date

I wish you could save me
I am my own worst enemy
If I take your hand
You will only be dragged down with me
Because you can't fight an enemy
That is impossible to see

My past is blocking out the sun
It feels like I'm just counting down
Till my final time has come
When my ghost passenger is done

There is not one day
There is not one hour
There is not one second
That I can get away
It forces me to stay
It ties me, it bides me
To the bed of my mistakes

I wish you could save me
I am my own worst enemy
If I take your hand
You will only be dragged down with me
Cause you can't fight an enemy
That is impossible to see

Death of me, Death of me
This life will be the death of me
x2

I know you,
I know why we're here
We all live in fear
We want to be saved
Different substances and different reasons
But the same path to get us here
We all share some doubt
We check in,
So we won't check out

I know I need to change
I know therapy wont save me
I know I need to turn the page
To get where I need to be
I don't need substance therapy
To make me see
This is all on me
And it always will be
It always will be

We don't get regret from the things that brought us here
Because when we get our second chance
We won't live in fear
We don't regret the things that brought us to our knees
Because we see the things that no one sees
We won't drown ourselves in yesterday
Not enough people live for today
We all have our darkness
We all have our demons
We all have our sadness
But how you grow from it
Is what makes us who we are

I know I need to change
I know therapy wont save me
But I need to turn the page
To get where I need to be
I don't need substance therapy
To make me see
This is all on me
And it always will be
It always will be

Lyrics By: Christopher Lauretti
Track Name: Fear And Fate (Michelle's Song)
Intro:
This is a twist of sadness and danger
The knot in your stomach riddled with anger
Getting the call no one wants to hear
And hearing the words that we all fear
Drops to her knees and begins to question
But there is no way to predict depression

Chorus:
This feelings unbearable, actions so terrible
This is fear, and this is fate
There isn't one day we don't miss your face
I need some help to get out of this place
We can stay strong, just keep holding strong
Just keep holding on and on and on and on

Verse:
We can try to live in the past
Relive the memories and making them last
But it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Times like these people need something to believe
Say there's a reason, say there's a purpose
Something to tell her kids it's worth it
Something to tell them that it’s worth it
It’s worth it

Chorus:
This feelings unbearable, actions so terrible
This is fear, and this is fate
There isn't one day we don't miss your face
I need some help to get out of this place
We can stay strong, just keep holding strong
Just keep holding on

Outro:
She drops to her knees and begins to question
But there is no way to predict depression
Now her friends and family all dressed in black
Fall to their knees as they approach the fact
And come to the realization there's no going back
Reminder not to stay fixated on what we lack
There's no going back, no going back

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Burned Out
Intro:
I can only burn for so long
Before my flame dies out

Chorus:
I'm burned out and broken
From all the weight I've been holding
So much of this caused by you
You will never know what I've been through
I don't want your false sympathy
Don't act like you know me
Open your fucking eyes
Maybe then you'd see, me

Verse:
I tried, I tried
To be better, I failed
You can only hold the weight of the world for so long
Before the pressure collapses upon your head
It never stops
It builds and builds until your dead

Verse:
We spend our lives, trying to be the better man
We don't stop or question, who we are trying impress or satisfy
We don't stop think or question why
We live, we learn, then we die


Lyric Credit: Christopher Lauretti