Vices In Verses MIXTAPE (SAINTS 0)

by American Cutthroat

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about

Every song on "Vices In Verses" is lyrically about facing drug or alcohol addiction or witnessing someone that you care about face addiction. The lyrics talk about how hard it is to deal with addiction and how easy it is to fall back into the cycle.

credits

released September 18, 2013

Lyric & Vocal Credit: Christopher James

Music / Instrumental Credit:

1) Robert Hayden – “Post Hardcore”
2) Walking Across Jupiter – “Samum”
3) Robert Hayden – “Post Hardcore Instrumental Music”
4) Walking Across Jupiter – “The Truth Was Revealed”
5) Auras – “Emerge”
6) Walking Across Jupiter – “Right To Life”
7) Walking Across Jupiter – “Cube”
8) Auras – “Panacea”
9) Auras- “Susurrus”
10) Jensbjoern- “Evil Angels”
11) Auras- “Adverse Condition”
12) Anup Sastry- “Reflex”
13) Tappohailstoyou- “Metalcore/screamo/post-hardcore stylish track 2 (instrumental)”
14) Animals As Leaders- “Point to Point”
15) Jrol Lima- “Tonight God Will Fear Me”
16) Walking Across Jupiter – “-27”

tags

license

all rights reserved
Track Name: Vices In Verses
"Vices In Verses"
These are my vices in verses
All my demons resurface
And I can't let go of the things that tie me down
These are my vices in verses
All my demons resurface

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Breaking The Cycle
“Breaking The Cycle”
Intro:
You can see the change in my eyes
Hit the switch to illuminate the lies
This time, this time I will not drown
I will bury the king and take my crown

Verse:
I am, the only one I can blame
I am, the only one throwing dirt on my name
Now, I will swallow my pride
My family curse is only along for the ride
I will right the wrongs caused by me
I will become the man I claim to be

Chorus:
I have seen my mistakes
Now it’s time for me to change face
I can feel my vices
Grabbing, dragging me down to the darkest place

My soul is riddled by vices
(But I refuse to sink)
Again and again I dig my own grave
(But I refuse to sink)

Now it’s time for me to change face
I have seen my mistakes
Grabbing, dragging me down to the darkest place
I can feel my vices

My soul is riddled by vices
(But I refuse to sink)
Again and again I dig my own grave
(But I refuse to sink)

Verse:
You can see the change in my eyes
Hit the switch to illuminate the lies
This time, this time I will not drown
I will bury the king and take my crown
x3

Outro:
Open your eyes and then you’ll see
(That this is me)
And I have cut free the anchor that will
(Set me free)
And for the first time I am alive
Finally I decide how I live and when I die

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Heroin Verses I
"Heroin Verses I"
Intro:
You disappeared from my life
For three years you didn't call or write
Now you say you need my help
I respond without a shadow of doubt

Verse:
But can you honestly tell me
That you won't tell another lie
If you won't let me in
How can you win
You say you know your limit
You know your tolerance
You think your so mature
But your the perfect age for ignorance

Chorus:
Wherever you are,
I hope your happy
I hope your clean
Wherever you are,
I hope you found your place
I hope you found your meaning
And as long as I'm still breathing
You will always be at home
As long as I'm still breathing
You will always have a home

Verse:
You can't blame yourself
For the things that happen
It is out of your control

Injecting yourself with this poison
Is not a real solution
Every time you hit the peak
It just makes you weak
X2

Bridge:
(She's not breathing)
(She's not breathing)

I won't watch you
Kill yourself senselessly
You’re not blood
But you are family
x2

Chorus:
Wherever you are,
I hope your happy
I hope your clean
Wherever you are,
I hope you found your place
I hope you found your meaning
And as long as I'm still breathing
You will always be at home
As long as I'm still breathing
You will always have a home

Outro:
Injecting yourself with this poison
Is not a real solution
Endless, every time you hit the peak
It just makes you weak

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Substance Therapy
"Substance Therapy"
Verse:
I know you,
You know why we’re here
We all lived in fear
We wanted to be saved
Different substances and different reasons
But the same path to get us here
We all share some doubt
We check in,
So we won't check out

Chorus:
I know I need to change
I know therapy won’t save me
But I need to turn the page
To get where I need to be

I don't need substance therapy
To make me see
This is all on me
And it always will be

Verse:
I don't regret the things that brought me here
Because when I get a second chance
I can live without fear
I don't regret the things that brought me to my knees
Because I see the things that no one sees

Substance therapy won’t save me
But this life will be the death of me

Bridge:
We won't drown ourselves in yesterday
Not enough people live for today
We all have our darkness
We all have our demons
But how you grow from them
Is what makes us who we are

Chorus:
I know I need to change
I know therapy won’t save me
But I need to turn the page
To get where I need to be

I don't need substance therapy
To make me see
This is all on me
And it always will be

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Whiskey Thoughts I
"Whisky Thoughts I"
Every time I take a sip
My filter begins to slip
Ringing out my inner thoughts
As my liver begins to rot
Living life with your vices
Isn't life it's fucking lifeless
I am not all I can be
My soul is fucking empty
I am selfish and flawed
But I still don't need god

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Heroin Verses II
"Heroin Verses II"
Intro:
I didn't put a gun to your head
I didn't put the needle in your arm
I didn't put the voices in your head
I didn't put the scum in your bed

Verse:
The choices we make, will make us
Or take us to our grave
I know that you want to be brave
The choices we make, could make us
Or take us to our grave
I know that you want to be brave
But someday there will be nothing left to save

Chorus:
You ran out to get high
To feel like you could fly
And I don't want to say goodbye
But the only way I see out
Is either jail or die

To feel like you could fly
And I don't want to say goodbye
But the only way I see out
Is either jail or die

Bridge:
Everything you did
You did to yourself
You don't know how to feel
Cause you've never felt
If all this is true,
Why do I still blame myself
X2

Chorus:
You ran out to get high
To feel like you could fly
And I don't want to say goodbye
But the only way I see out
Is either jail or die
X2

Verse:
You’re a monster when your sober
You’re a monster when you’re not
This has made you a deceiver
You derailed from the plot
You used to be so gorgeous
You used to be so beautiful
You drained it out your veins
And with every needle,
You don't just kill the artist
You destroyed all the frames

How many bridges must you burn
And will you ever fucking learn
Soon it will be your turn
You can't afford to raise the stakes
I just pray you have what it takes

What the fuck were you thinking
My respect for you keeps sinking
You gave in to him for just a hit
Tell me girl was it worth it

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Reservations
"Reservations"
After everything is gone
When everything in your life has gone wrong
Join me in the cemetery
As we both lay
Like we used to lay in the bed
Now made of my remorse
We lay comfortably in knowing
That what you've done
Is simply turned one into a thousand
You can find my body in the river
All I need is a muse
Nothing but a bottle and a trigger
To fill me from the inside out
To find it all, to end it all
It's all but a dream and a second away
And now, where is the fine line
There is but a fine line
Between the road that splits in my mind
My mind splits in two opposite directions
Now we are parallels never to touch again

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Gravity and Consistency
"Gravity And Consistency"

Verse:
I am trapped between vices and virtues
In the end which do I choose
No one is ever happy with what they got
Be grateful, be grateful
Tomorrow if you wake up, you might not

Chorus:
Everywhere I go, this black cloud follows me
It pulls to me like gravity
Marking me, for everyone to see
That I have fucked up constantly

This isn't life, this isn't real
I need you to tell me how to feel
This is a story, this is a dream
Nothing is ever what it seems
X2

Verse:
Save me from myself
X3
I live like I have something to prove to myself
How can I overcome myself
I thought I was better then this
How do I discover my own bliss
I thought I was better then this
How do I discover my own bliss
What the fuck did I miss

Chorus:
Everywhere I go, this black cloud follows me
It pulls to me like gravity
Marking me, for everyone to see
That I have fucked up constantly

This isn't life, this isn't real
I need you to tell me how to feel
This is a story, this is a dream
Nothing is ever what it seems
X2

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Change Over
"Change Over"
This is the change over
This is where I change
From monster to man
This is where I make my stand
And I will bite the hands
That hold me down
That try to make me drown
That took my thrown
That buried my crown
This world is mine
(This world is mine)
I have overcome the power
I have overcome myself
This world belongs to me
(This world belongs to me)
My life belongs to me
My fate belongs to me
This is the change over

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Heroin Verses III
"Heroin Verses III"
Verse:
Wake up
Get out of this bed
I gave you a place to rest your head
Not for you to continue being dead
Get out of this bed
Get out of this bed
And make something of your life

Chorus:
I will be your detox
I will be your savior
I will board up all the windows
And re-lock all the locks
I will keep you safe
From yourself and the world
I will help you to start over
I swear I won’t leave her

Verse:
Wake up
Open your eyes to the beauty before you
Show the world what you’re pulling through
I know you can do anything you set your mind too
You can be yourself, you no longer have to wait
I know you can free yourself and release all the hate

Chorus:
I will be your detox
I will be your savior
I will board up all the windows
And re-lock all the locks
I will keep you safe
From yourself and the world
I will help you to start over
I swear I won’t leave her
X2

Bridge:
It’s time for you to wake up
I always knew that you were better
I always knew that you were better
Than the damage
You caused with your wrath
Better than the wreckage
You left in your path

Chorus:
I will be your detox
I will be your savior
I will board up all the windows
And re-lock all the locks
I will keep you safe
From yourself and the world
I will help you to start over
I swear I won’t leave her

Bridge:
I always knew that you were better
Than the damage
You caused with your wrath
Better than the wreckage
You left in your path
Wake up
Wake up

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Relapse Cycle
"Relapse Cycle"
Verse:
I am broken
I have fallen
I have let you down
Time and time again

I can say I'm sorry
But honestly
I'm just weak, a failure
And I can't take the pressure
X3
I keep giving in
Time and time again

In my head
X3

Chorus:
I feel in my head
That this will never end
Every word I said I meant
But something takes over me
It takes complete control of my body
I feel this weight as I collapse
There is no worse feeling
Then every time I relapse
X2

Verse:
I don't need your help
I don't need to take you down
Every time I destroy myself
I don't want you around
Just to watch me fall apart
I tried to warn you
From the very start

Bridge:
How can you love someone so pathetic
My story isn't tragic
It's just sad
Throwing away everything I had
X2

Chorus:
I feel in my head
That this will never end
Every word I said I meant
But something takes over me
It takes complete control of my body
I feel this weight as I collapse
There is no worse feeling
Then every time I relapse

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Whiskey Thoughts II
"Whisky Thoughts II"
With every swig I take
I make far more than one mistake
I can't control myself
Let alone my actions
I can see my life
Dividing into fractions
I can see in my family
Whisky just makes us angry
But it makes me feel free
Freedom from the world
That surrounds me
I know one day I will make the choice
Between freedom and family
I know now more than ever
Family is everything to me
Because family brings me safety
And this bottles fucking empty

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Confessional
"Confessional"
Verse:
Will you please approach me
This is everything but easy
But I need you to see
The evil I turned out to be
I wish I could say this is just occasional
But this is only the begin of my confessional

Chorus:
You want to know what's in my head
But if you know what’s in my head
I promise, you would wish I was dead
I can't stand the look of disappointment
My mind will fixate on that moment
Tell me that you still love me
Cause if not my life is empty

Verse:
I'm begging you
Please don't cry
I can't stand another second
Watching the tears
Fall from your eyes
I have so many more lies
You have to hear
And I'm so sorry
Because I am everything you feared

Chorus:
You want to know what's in my head
But if you know what’s in my head
I promise, you would wish I was dead
I can't stand the look of disappointment
My mind will fixate on that moment
Tell me that you still love me
Cause if not my life is empty
X2

Bridge:
I am sorry to my sister
She doesn't know how much I miss her
I am sorry to my brother
Because I wish I could have helped you further
I am sorry to my father
Because I feel I didn't make him proud
I am sorry to my mother
When she needed me I was nowhere to be found
I am sorry to my whole family
Because I am everything they should never see

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Ghost Passenger
"Ghost Passenger"
Verse:
There is not one day
There is not one hour
There is not one second
That I am alone
I can feel the presence
Of this dark biding essence
I will never escape my fate
Until my expectation date

Chorus:
I wish you could save me
I am my own worst enemy
If I take your hand
You will only be dragged down with me
Because you can't fight an enemy
That is impossible to see

Verse:
There is not one day
There is not one hour
There is not one second
That I can get away
It forces me to stay
It ties me, bides me
To the bed of my mistakes

Chorus:
I wish you could save me
I am my own worst enemy
If I take your hand
You will only be dragged down with me
Because you can't fight an enemy
That is impossible to see

Bridge:
My past is blocking out the sun
It feels like I'm just counting down
Till finally my time has come
When my ghost passenger is done

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: New Hope
"New Hope"
Chorus:
This is my one and only chance at something real
Something that I never thought I'd feel
There's just something in her eyes
It tells me that she never lies
Or will ever stray too far from me
Is this how it was always supposed to be
I am a part of you,
And you are all of me

Verse:
I am reborn in a new light
Every time it pulls me down
I still continue to fight
She watched me crumble
She watched me burn
It was this that made me learn
True love is something that you earn

Chorus:
This is my one and only chance at something real
Something that I never thought I'd feel
There's just something in her eyes
It tells me that she never lies
Or will ever stray too far from me
Is this how it was always supposed to be
I am a part of you,
And you are all of me

Verse:
And at the thought of losing this
I fall back to my un-conscience coping
In this bottle is where I’m soaking

And at the thought of losing you
I just stop any and all hoping
My vices begin the pulling
And my demons begin provoking

Bridge:
My legs turn weak
When she looks inside me
I don't want her to see
The monster manifesting inside of me
The reflection of the person I used to be

I have no fear
But if you disappear
and I am alone again
I will begin to question myself
and where I've been

Chorus:
This is my one and only chance at something real
Something that I never thought I'd feel
There's just something in her eyes
It tells me that she never lies
Or will ever stray too far from me
Is this how it was always supposed to be
I am a part of you,
And you are all of me

"...and just as I was losing my grip on reality
You decide to stay and be the only thing that grounds me"

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti
Track Name: Compromise
"Compromise"
Chorus:
I don't believe in god
But I believe in me
Never compromise yourself
To be who they want you to be
If faith is your chaser
Then give me a prayer
You will find your answer
We will make it, I swear

Verse:
Show me your true colors
There is more than just black and white
This world is all different shades of grey
And never let them fade
Never let them fade away
Embrace yourself
Live your life for yourself
Follow what makes you happy
And see the greatness you can be
Never doubt yourself
Fore we are above god
We are above all of this
His belief might set you free
But one day you will see
That everything you do
Comes from the heart beating inside you
You are what makes you great

Chorus:
I don't believe in god
But I believe in me
Never compromise yourself
To be who they want you to be
If faith is your chaser
Then give me a prayer
You will find your answer
We will make it, I swear
X2

Bridge:
Feed on the ones
That keep you down
They will be nothing
Six feet in the ground
We were lost
But we were found
My vices may have made me
But my demons will never break me
X2

Chorus:
I don't believe in god
But I believe in me
Never compromise yourself
To be who they want you to be
If faith is your chaser
Then give me a prayer
You will find your answer
We will make it, I swear

Outro:
Feed on the ones
That keep you down
They will be nothing
Six feet in the ground
We were lost
But we were found
My vices may have made me
But my demons will never break me

Lyrics By: Chris Lauretti