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SAINTS

by American Cutthroat

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1.
Prelude 02:24
I am standing at the edge of the world At the bleak peak of existence Just waiting to be whole I see a shadow of myself I feel a shift in my soul down to the bone There's two of me, both with a heart of stone But I guess this means I'm never alone I'm just falling in and out of each of me And though my eyes are open I can't see Last thing I can remember is falling asleep Then I remember waking at this peak I close my eyes and I hear a creek Sound like a door but more like a stream Maybe I'm stuck living in the in-between I just want to know what this all means Am I just chasing dreams Or is this the life I haven't seen
2.
Whiskey Sins 03:49
3.
There is not one day There is not one hour There is not one second That I am alone I can feel the presence Of this dark biding essence I will never escape my fate Until my expectation date I wish you could save me I am my own worst enemy If I take your hand You will only be dragged down with me Because you can't fight an enemy That is impossible to see My past is blocking out the sun It feels like I'm just counting down Till my final time has come When my ghost passenger is done There is not one day There is not one hour There is not one second That I can get away It forces me to stay It ties me, it bides me To the bed of my mistakes I wish you could save me I am my own worst enemy If I take your hand You will only be dragged down with me Cause you can't fight an enemy That is impossible to see Death of me, Death of me This life will be the death of me x2 I know you, I know why we're here We all live in fear We want to be saved Different substances and different reasons But the same path to get us here We all share some doubt We check in, So we won't check out I know I need to change I know therapy wont save me I know I need to turn the page To get where I need to be I don't need substance therapy To make me see This is all on me And it always will be It always will be We don't get regret from the things that brought us here Because when we get our second chance We won't live in fear We don't regret the things that brought us to our knees Because we see the things that no one sees We won't drown ourselves in yesterday Not enough people live for today We all have our darkness We all have our demons We all have our sadness But how you grow from it Is what makes us who we are I know I need to change I know therapy wont save me But I need to turn the page To get where I need to be I don't need substance therapy To make me see This is all on me And it always will be It always will be
4.
Chorus: I feel in my head That this will never end Every word I said I meant But something takes over me It takes complete control of my body I feel this weight as I collapse There is no worse feeling Then everytime I relapse Verse: I am broken I have fallen I have let you down Time and time again I can say I'm sorry But honestly I'm just weak, a failure And I can't take the pressure x2 I keep giving in Time and time again x4 I don't need your help I don't need to take you down Everytime I destroy myself I don't want you around Just to watch fall apart I tried to warn you From the very start x2 Chorus: I feel in my head That this will never end Every word I said I meant But something takes over me It takes complete control of my body I feel this weight as I collapse There is no worse feeling Then everytime I relapse Everytime I relapse x2 Relapse Bridge: How can you love someone so pathetic My story isn't tragic It's just sad Throwing away everything I had x2 Verse: I am broken I have fallen I have let you down Time and time again I can say I'm sorry But honestly I'm just weak, a failure And I can't take the pressure I keep giving in Time and time again x2
5.
Chorus: Oh, suddenly I'm free Is this what it's like to breathe I shed the weight My angers gone It's like part of me The part that you can't see Sheds like skin Away from my body Is this what it's like Is this what's like to breathe Verse: But now my friends are gone My family has all moved on I'm clean or at least it seems The only place I'm not alone Is in my dreams What's free if your still empty Tell me what's left for me I can bleed, I can bleed But my blood was never clean Verse: Am I just a stain Left on my fathers name Cause inside I am vacant If I just knew what it meant I would disappear But I'm unclear On what it means to live I'm not afraid I'm just naive I'm numb From the years I've lost I can't love I can't feel Bridge: The weight of anger Even free, I can never leave Breathe, just breathe Just breathe with me
6.
Interlude I 01:20
7.
Erase Me 04:21
Intro: Sometimes I think I might move away Somewhere so very far away I'll forget your names Like you seem to avoid mine Give it time I think I might actually loose my mind It's the only place I have left to hide So are we friends? Cause you don't seem to care that I'm dead Will you miss me in the end? Chorus: I want to erase away myself Start over new again No letters home to send No comfort to ignore from any friend I will not exist With my dying words This is what I wished It just hurts my heart To look in your eyes tonight It just hurts my heart To watch your love dissipate And it just hurts my heart To see your hate Verse: I shed away the skin that I am in Decay flesh and bone Never born, never grown No lips to be sown On my knees Begging please I think you're better off without me I think I'm better cold and empty I know you won't miss me Don't act like you care You were never there Chorus: I want to erase away myself Start over new again No letters home to send No comfort to ignore from any friend I will not exist With my dying words This is what I wished It just hurts my heart To look in your eyes tonight It just hurts my heart To watch your love dissipate And it just hurts my heart To see your hate I don't have any affect on your life So you don't need to think twice Take my fucking life, grab the knife Cause you know I'd bleed for you Sometimes I wish you would too Or maybe just act the way you used too My mother used to hold me My father once told me But now they just cry with me When your young you're blind x2 When your old there's nowhere to hide And every time I lied Just know at least I tried Because what is a lion without a pride x3
8.
Confessional 05:11
Chorus: Will you please approach me This is everything but easy But I need you to see The evil I turned out to be I wish I could say this is just occasional But this is only the beginning of my confessional You want to know what's in my head But if you knew what was in my head I promise, you would wish I was dead I can't stand the look of disappointment My mind will fixate on that moment Tell me you still love me Cause if not my life is empty You want to know what's in my head But if you knew what was in my head I promise, you would wish I was dead I can't stand the look of disappointment My mind will fixate on that moment Verse: I'm begging you Please don't cry I can't stand another second Watching the tears Fall from your eyes I have so many more lies I need you to hear And I'm so sorry Because I am everything you feared I am everything you feared X2 Chorus: Will you please approach me This is everything but easy But I need you to see The evil I turned out to be I wish I could say this is just occasional But this is only the beginning of my confessional You want to know what's in my head But if you knew what was in my head I promise, you would wish I was dead I can't stand the look of disappointment My mind will fixate on that moment Tell me you still love me Cause if not my life is empty Bridge: (Get Up) I am sorry to my sister She doesn't know how much I missed her I am sorry to my brother Because I wish I could have helped him further I am sorry to my father Because I feel I never made him proud I am sorry to my mother When she needed me I was no where to be found Chorus: You want to know what's in my head But if you knew what was in my head I promise, you would wish I was dead I can't stand the look of disappointment My mind will fixate on that moment Tell me you still love me Cause if not my life is empty X2
9.
Verse: You can see the change in my eyes Hit the switch to illuminate the lies This time, this time I will not drown I will bury the king and take my crown I am, the only one I can blame I am, the only one throwing dirt on my name Now, I will swallow my pride My family curse is only along for the ride I will right the wrongs caused by me I will become the man I claim to be x2 Chorus: I have seen my mistakes Now it’s time for me to change face I can feel my vices Grabbing, dragging me down to the darkest place My soul is riddled by vices (But I refuse to sink) Again and again I dig my own grave (But I refuse to sink) x2 But I refuse to sink x4 Verse: You can see the changes in my eyes Hit the switch to illuminate the lies This time, this time I will not drown I will bury the king and take my crown Chorus: I have seen my mistakes Now it’s time for me to change face I can feel my vices Grabbing, dragging me down to the darkest place My soul is riddled by vices (But I refuse to sink) Again and again I dig my own grave (But I refuse to sink) I have seen my mistakes Now it’s time for me to change face I can feel my vices Bridge: (Set me free) Open your eyes and you will see (That this is me) And I have cut free the anchor that will (Set me free) And for the first time I am alive Finally I decide how I live and when I die (Set me free) I decide how I live and when I die (But I refuse to sink) Set me free x5 (But i refuse to sink) Chorus: (But i refuse to sink) I have seen my mistakes Now it’s time for me to change face I can feel my vices Grabbing, dragging me down to the darkest place My soul is riddled by vices (But I refuse to sink) Again and again I dig my own grave (But I refuse to sink) I have seen my mistakes Now it’s time for me to change face I can feel my vices Verse: (Set me free) Open your eyes and you will see (That this is me) And I have cut free the anchor that will (Set me free) And for the first time I am alive Finally I decide how I live and when I die (Set me free) I decide how I live and when I die (But I refuse to sink) Set me free x4
10.
Intro: This is my one and only chance at something real Something that I never thought I'd feel There's just something in her eyes It tells me that she never lies Or will ever stray too far from me Is this how it was always supposed to be I am a part of you, And you are all of me Chorus: You and me You and me will push up daisies Beautifully You and me will sleep so freely Carefully Please find your way back to me You and me You and me will push up daisies (She watched me crumble) (She watched me burn) You and me You and me will push up daisies Beautifully You and me will sleep so freely Carefully Please find your way back to me You and me You and me will push up daisies (It was this that made me learn) (True love is something that you earn) You and me You and me will push up daisies x4 Verse: I am reborn in a new light Every time it pulls me down I still continue to fight She watched me crumble She watched me burn It was this that made me learn True love is something that you earn x2 This is my one and only chance at something real Something that I never thought I'd feel There's just something in her eyes It tells me that she never lies Or will ever stray too far from me Is this how it was always supposed to be I am a part of you, And you are all of me Chorus: You and me You and me will push up daisies Beautifully You and me will sleep so freely Carefully Please find your way back to me You and me You and me will push up daisies (She watched me crumble) (She watched me burn) You and me You and me will push up daisies Beautifully You and me will sleep so freely Carefully Please find your way back to me You and me You and me will push up daisies (It was this that made me learn) (True love is something that you earn) You and me You and me will push up daisies x4 Verse: And at the thought of losing this I fall back to my un-conscience coping In this bottle I lay here soaking And at the thought of losing you I just stop any and all hoping My vices begin the pulling And my demons begin provoking My legs turn weak When she looks inside me I don't want her to see The monster manifesting inside of me The reflection of the person I used to be I have no fear But if you disappear and I am alone again I will begin to question myself and where I've been "...and just as I was losing my grip on reality You decide to stay and be the only thing that grounds me" Chorus: You and me You and me will push up daisies Beautifully You and me will sleep so freely Carefully Please find your way back to me You and me You and me will push up daisies (She watched me crumble) (She watched me burn) You and me You and me will push up daisies x4 (It was this that made me learn) (True love is something that you earn)
11.
Interlude II 01:20
12.
Intro: I am trapped between vices and virtues In the end which do I choose No one is ever happy with what they got Be grateful Because tomorrow you might not x2 Verse: Every time I take a sip My filter begins to slip Ringing out my inner thoughts As my liver begins to rot Living life with your vices Isn't life it's fucking lifeless I am not all I can be My soul is fucking empty I am selfish and flawed But I still don't need god Chorus: Everywhere I go, this black cloud follows me It pulls to me like gravity Marking me, for everyone to see That I have fucked up constantly This isn't life, this isn't real I need you to tell me how to feel This is a story, this is a dream Nothing is ever what it seems Save me from myself Save me from myself Verse: I live like I have something to prove to myself How can I overcome myself I thought I was better then this How do I discover my own bliss With every swig I take I make far more then one mistake I can't control myself Let alone my actions I can see my life Dividing into fractions I can see in my family Whisky just makes us angry Chorus: Everywhere I go, this black cloud follows me It pulls to me like gravity Marking me, for everyone to see That I have fucked up constantly This isn't life, this isn't real I need you to tell me how to feel This is a story, this is a dream Nothing is ever what it seems Verse: But it makes me feel free Freedom from the world That surrounds me I know one day I will make the choice Between freedom and family I know now more then ever Family is everything to me Because family brings me safety And this bottles fucking empty For every step forward I take two steps back I get hung up on the things I lack Every sip, every swig Helps me to forget I'm trying to learn Not to live in regret I hold myself up to the mirror I am a coward Closer Who runs from everything When I look in to the mirror I don't see anything I smash my fist through the glass My lacerations may not last But my demons will never pass Will never pass
13.
Intro: You disappeared from my life For three years you didn't call or write Now you say you need my help I respond without a shadow of doubt Chorus: Wherever you are, I hope your happy I hope your clean Wherever you are, I hope you found your place I hope you found your meaning And as long as I'm still breathing You will never be alone And as long as I'm still breathing You will always have a home x2 Verse: But can you honestly tell me That you won't tell another lie If you won't let me in How can you win You say you know your limit You know your tolerance You think your so mature Your the perfect age for ignorance You can't blame yourself For the things that happen It is out of your control Injecting yourself with this poison Is not a real solution Every time you hit the peak It just makes you weak x2 (She's not breathing) I won't watch you Kill yourself senselessly Your not blood But you are family You can't blame yourself For the things that happen It is out of your control Injecting yourself with this poison Is not a real solution Every time you hit the peak It just makes you weak x2 Chorus: Wherever you are, I hope your happy I hope your clean Wherever you are, I hope you found your place I hope you found your meaning And as long as I'm still breathing You will never be alone And as long as I'm still breathing You will always have a home Verse: I didn't put a gun to your head I didn't put the needle in your arm I didn't put the voices in your head I didn't put the scum in your bed The choices we make, could make us Or take us to our grave I know that you want to be brave But someday there will be nothing left to save You ran out to get high To feel like you could fly And I don't want to say goodbye But the only way I see out Is either jail or die Everything you did You did to yourself You don't know how to feel Cause you've never felt If all this is true, Why do I still blame myself I am starting to believe Your a monster when your sober Your a monster when your not This has made you a deceiver You derailed from the plot You used to be so gorgeous You used to be so beautiful You drained it out your veins And with every needle, You don't just kill the artist You destroyed all the frames How many bridges must you burn And will you ever fucking learn Soon it will be your turn You can't afford to raise the stakes We all must pay for our mistakes I just pray you have what it takes Chorus: Wherever you are, I hope your happy I hope your clean Wherever you are, I hope you found your place I hope you found your meaning And as long as I'm still breathing You will never be alone And as long as I'm still breathing You will always have a home Verse: What the fuck were you thinking My respect for you keeps sinking You gave in to him for just a hit Tell me girl was it worth it Was it worth it to lose yourself Was it worth it, To lose everything you loved Your selfish and you took advantage Wake up Get out of this bed I gave you a place to rest your head Not for you to continue being dead Get out of this bed And make something of your life I will be your detox I will be your savior I will board up all the windows And re-lock all the locks I will keep safe From yourself and the world I will help you to start over I swear I will never leave her I always knew that you were better I always knew that you were better Better then the damage You caused with your wrath Better then the wreckage You left in your path Wake up Open your eyes to the beauty before you Show the world you are pulling through I know you can do anything you set your mind too You can be yourself, you no longer have to wait I know you can free yourself and release all the hate Chorus: Wherever you are, I hope your happy I hope your clean Wherever you are, I hope you found your place I hope you found your meaning And as long as I'm still breathing You will never be alone And as long as I'm still breathing You will always have a home
14.
Chorus: I wish I could, I wish I could I wish I could save you From all these feelings you have That make you feel worthless And that you don't have a brain I know I'm clinically insane I know that you can't deal With the way that I feel But you're perfect And with you is the only time Anything feels real Feels... Verse: I know sometimes you get sad And sometimes there's no telling how bad I know sometimes you feel so low And you can't let go I know I should never tell you to calm down But I think you should before you drown X2 So when you're feeling that low And you can't let it go Remember that time at the beach Or when we danced in the street With rain pouring down In the hot summer heat You never cease to amaze I feel it's worth giving praise Chorus: I wish I could, I wish I could I wish I could save you From all these feelings you have That make you feel worthless And that you don't have a brain I know I'm clinically insane I know that you can't deal With the way that I feel But you're perfect And with you is the only time Anything feels real Feels... Verse: And just know that the good out weighs bad When it comes to feelings we have So here's a breakdown (So here's a breakdown) Let your fist feel someone's face Take your feelings out on another I'll be your punching bag atleast Share your feelings of pain And let them bleed out the same Let them bleed out the same X2 Chorus: I wish I could, I wish I could I wish I could save you From all these feelings you have That make you feel worthless And that you don't have a brain I know I'm clinically insane I know that you can't deal With the way that I feel But you're perfect And with you is the only time Anything feels real Feels... Outro: Let your fist feel someone's face Take your feelings out on another I'll be your punching bag atleast Share your feelings of pain And let them bleed out the same Let them bleed out the same
15.
Heartless only describes me as a small entity Of the evil I can be I'm a crooked hungry coward All my words are contemporary Tell me what you believe So I can tear it down Showing you there is nothing to be found And when my soul leaves the ground I won't go up and I won't go down I'll be stuck here till I make you proud Cause I'm not a son, nor a spouse I am here to keep satin in your mouth Cause you speak of this evil And divine pride But all you get in return Is the prayers full of let downs Atleast if I was god I might stick around Not ask you to praise An idea that will never be found So if heaven dies tonight I think we'll be alright Share a toast with the devil And call it a night Cut out my eyes So I can't ever blame my sight Pour out the gasoline and hand me the light I've been a rebel I've been a cause I've never been stuck down here for too long x2
16.
Verse: I will drink till I forget I will sink till there's nothing left It's like an external force is guiding I'm not me I'm just watching from the outside But in the start I wished this on me If only I had the ability to see I want to wash away my mistakes Or die doing what it takes X2 Verse: I'll smoke till I have no breath I plan to suffer even after death As the room spins and I lose wind I begin to drown in my own sin I never wanted to win Just to forget Now I stare from the floor With my cynical grin Chorus: I think I'm tripping Off the vertical vision I only know the things I'm missing I think I'm heading for collision Be careful what your wishing You just might get it If your still looking I'm on the floor by the door If your still looking Verse: I want to wash away my mistakes Or die doing what it takes I put my life in the hands of a bottle Strike me down For the last time I'm telling you that my blackout was sign I want to wash away my mistakes Or die doing what it takes Chorus: I think I'm tripping Off the vertical vision I think I'm heading for collision I only know the things I'm missing Be careful what your wishing You just might get it I'm on the floor by the door If your still looking Verse: I want to wash away my mistakes Or die doing what it takes I put my life in the hands of a bottle Strike me down For the last time I'm telling you that my blackout was sign I want to wash away my mistakes Or die doing what it takes
17.
Verse: Have you ever reached deep inside yourself Below the Hate and emotional reactions To find yourself in the chemical imbalance To face yourself is something so selfless It blows me away when we hit the very bottom We learn so much more than we lose It was never about the path that we choose Chorus: I'm drowning at the bottom Don't save me, don't help me I need to feel this lonely I need to escape myself So I can separate mind and self Will it ever be low enough The tides are changing The waves are getting rough Will I ever sink low enough low enough Verse: Are we built for lives of pride Or is up to us to decide Are we passengers Only along for the ride In who do we confide Is there anywhere left to hide Or do we control our lives Our existence was built on lies Hitting bottom is freedom We need to cut all ties X2 I found myself below the lowest lows I am Finally free and I am ready to let go There are answers, we don't need to know Above all my enemies, I am my biggest foe Do you think you have what it takes to let go I guess there is only one way to know Tie yourself to the heaviest anchor Shut your mouth, stop talking, time to show That you have What it takes to let go

credits

released January 15, 2016

Drum Tracks (4,5,8,9,12,13,15-17), Partial Drum Tracks (7,14): Joey Ford Free Drum Tracks
Album Photography: Sarah M.
Mastered With LANDR

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American Cutthroat

Extreme Vocalist Based Out of New England.

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